WITH GOD, LIFE = COLOURFUL LIFE

Year 2008 was like a roller coaster ride for me and Sharon. Many things have been planned as well as many things have failed. During this time, we’ve experienced the highest high and lowest low in both reality and spiritually in our life.

In the beginning of 2008, we planned to have our wedding ceremony done in Malaysia in 2009. And at the same time, we were also looking for new property in south side (as our life group habitation is there). We were so excited with all these plans but at the same time busyness with these things draw us away from depending on God. We were so self reliance and didn’t really pray to God on all these plans.

By mid 2008, we found a nice property in south side and decided to go ahead with it. After we got the contract, things started to get confused and uncertain to us. First, economy recession started to take place during that time, because of this, we got very worried and started to doubt whether our decision to get this property is right or wrong. Sharon and I started to pray about this and also consult few brothers and sisters regarding this. During this time, Sharon received a word “Wait and SEE”. This is really a big decision for us as we already paid property inspector. But finally we decided to stop proceeding the application and withdrew from it.

By then, I thought everything is over, but the exciting part has just come in. During October, we discovered that we are going to be parents. This was really shocking news for both of us at first as it was unplanned. But after we thought about what had happened in the past, things started to fit into the whole picture. So instead of worrying about property, we now focus on the baby. We would be in financial trouble if we were to get that new property which will cost us to pay 2 mortgages and also the medical expenses for Sharon and the baby.

By now, I would like to think everything has come to an end, but obviously God has much more to test and to train me. As of beginning of December, I was made redundant due to the economic crisis. It was really a hard time for me as we are expecting a baby soon, and we are in a tight budget. I told this bad news to some of my brothers and one of them actually asked me to pray specifically on what I wanted to do in the future. Every day I would be sitting in front of my desk and sending out as many resume as possible but none replied to me. I often pray to God asking why He had forsaken me, and allow me to go through all these hazards but the prayer often ended with no reply. Ending up, I joined my life group in unit getaway camp. Although I was having a great time during the getaway, I still have the concern of unemployment and how to deal with it when I get back to reality. Much stress and worry I had I kept to myself as I didn’t really want to increase Sharon’s worries and what she is already dealing with. After I come back from camp, I started to worry again and I got to the point where I only slept less than 6 hours per day. Just when I was about to give up the hope of getting job, miracles happened.

On one fine Thursday night, 8:30PM sharp, I received an email from a company which was totally unexpected regarding having interview with me on the following Monday. I’ve applied few positions in this company in the past and I didn’t even have a chance to be invited to interview. So I was really excited at first, but when I thought of how many turndowns I got from the past interviews, and due to the fact that there are more experienced delegates in the market, I started to have negative feelings about this interview. So without much hope and preparation, I went to that interview. I didn’t really get much response from the interview and just went back with negative thoughts and attitude.

On Tuesday early in the morning, I received an email from HR department about the rejection from this company. I was really sad and angry towards God. I keep asking Him why He has to give me the chance to get interview after months of torturing and stress but then took the job offering from me. After around an hour, I received another email from HR asking me for referee’s details, I was so shocked at that time and thinking, why they would want to know more about me if they didn’t plan to offer me this position. After double-checking the email I received in the morning, I realised that the rejection was referring to another position which I applied long time ago in this company. I was relieved and also sorry on what my disappointment had brought my attitude towards God.

Despite all my confusion and blurred-mind, I decided go to prayer meeting hoping to get some encouragement and words from God. During prayer meeting, out of my expectation, Jojo came to me and share with me the vision she saw. I was really shock at that time and couldn’t response to her but just listened and got her to pray for me. On Wednesday morning, I received another email asking me to attend a second interview. I was so happy but also worried on failure. I didn’t tell anyone about this second chance I got because I was so scared of failure again.

So, I went to the interview on Friday morning. Everything went smoothly and my team leader offered me this position on the spot. I was really happy and almost jumped up when he offered me, but thank God I didn’t. One of my life group members even came by my house that very day after work just to share the good news and joy. Because of this job offer, I now can testify that what I prayed specifically in the beginning has been provided to me. I know that this is none other than God’s plan and work.

I really thank God for all the things that He has given me and even this wonderful and stressful journey. I even thank God for all the people He had placed around me that always there for me, pray for me when I needed the most. Thinking back now, God has really brought me up through this journey and renewed my faith in Him. I’ve also learnt to have faith on God not only during good time, but also during bad time in my life. And God sure do knows our limits and how much we can take in our life.

For all my brothers and sisters who are in the same situation as me, I really encourage you all to be patient and do really pray a lot, you won’t know what type of journey God will bring you through and what He is going to do in your life, but only if you put your faith in Him, He will surely walk and share the burden with you.

Life = no life without God, but with God, Life = colourful life.

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version) For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Your brother in Christ,
Alex Eng